If you have to ask you'll never know ! [L.Armstrong]... thats Louis not Lance.

Nov 30, 2007

Bai Bai Love !

You leave the dirty dishes in the sink . Your left shoe in the living room and the right in the loo. The path to the loo is marked with yesterdays shirt, vest , tie and jocks and socks. The newspaper is strewn around the house, comic section in the kids room, page 3 on the dining table , classifieds near the parrot cage [ for tommorows new lining] . The economic section unopened as it always is. In short chaos. At 3.00 o'clock when the kids are still at school and everyone is out of the house, our fairy Godmother arrives. Leela Bai. She waves her magic wand and the dishes clean themselves and sparkle and jump into the cupboard. The newspaper finds it way to the raddi drawer all neatly folded. The clothes find their way into the washing machine and an hour later hang out on the drying line. [ or the backs of the dining charis in the monsoon ]. The broom though old sweeps clean , even behind the fridge and the Godrej cupboard. The layer of dust from the fans are banished. The tiles give up their grime with resignation faced with an adversary they can never hope to conquer. Those the Gods and Fairy godmothers seek to destroy they first lift up to heaven.
Even the gods and fairy godmothers are human. They fall ill, their husbands sometimes show them they care for them with a black eye. Their children get married. The BMC demolishes their houses. Three days of Leelabai being a no show ,we understand Paradise Lost. The sink soon runs out of space and we run out of clean plates. A fresh shirt for office and pre matched socks , is a treasure hunt. Dust in Hoffman and everywhere else. [ I told you cheap puns are a bloggers first resort]. The parrot is complaining about the unsanitary conditions in his cage. The kids cant find their water bottles for school in this now hell hole then palace .
When we call Jaihind and Candies and Jimmies kitchen they now recognise our voice. Home made chapattis float in our dreams with clean sheets and a bed that has been dusted out not just hidden under the bedspread. The funny smell is from the garbage. Three days of accumulation.
Why is the parrot still sleeping ?
You were supposed to feed him.
Me ?
I thought you were feeding him, he's your pet.
My pet? I told you we should have bought goldfish.
Lets get rid of the corspe before the kids get back.
The neighbour is glaring at us for not cleaning our part of the staircase lannding. The plants have long gone the way of the parrot. Thank God for autodefrost fridges. If only we had self filling ice trays. The fan blades are bending over with the weight of the dust.
And suddenly with as little warning with which she vanished, Leelabai is back.
We don't know where she lives. We dont even know her surname. We dont know when her birthday is . But we do know this.We can't live without Leelabai.

[p.s. The parrots passing opened the floodgates for puppy requests once again.]


wendy said...

Then get them one (a puppy, I mean)! Remember 'happiness is a warm puppy'? By the by, your blog isn't sponsored by Godrej is it? Thanks for the timely reminder,though, I'm off to remove the dust from the top of the Godrej - Christmas is coming!! Cheers!!

Differently Challenged said...

Wah! Wah! Kudos to you man...I don't think this over dependence on the bai's is a trait peculiar to Bandraites..It's in the blood of every Mumbaikar...I'll be sending this link to my friends from Delhi & elsewhere...so that they know what a bai is truly capable of..

Boonie said...

Time to get another ET

Xander Boy said...

Talking about Leela Bhai's recieving a black eye. Was walking @ 11pm to see whether mum was alive @ Lilavati's ICU (free of pain-no chance) and noticed a lover's tiff between a nurse and her boyfriend, suddenly before my unbelieving eyes he whipped out his right hand and as a good night kiss he gave her a "gucha" (aka blow) straight on her spine, bless her that definitely would have hurt.

So much for education - this guy is as good or in fact even worse than Leela Bhai's hubby

And, yet like the millions of Leela Bhais of today - when she stepped into the hospital, I asked her, "Did I not see that man hit you ?"

And, in true sense of the words (Stand BAI your man), protecting what she now knows is a lost love, she said, "It was nothing, he is just my friend!!"

Please Lord protect the Leela Bhais of this world.

xander boy said...

What's it with Leela Bais and Leelavati

After having massaged mum's back and then being thrown out by security from the ICCU. (Told mum not to look at me with those puppy dog eyes) - she needs to keep her spirits up! but, not so up that it touches heaven.

On the way back looking around my behind - just in case I get mugged I heard like what sounded like sharp crack - I looked around and Wo! this bandra seems full of them. Another Leela Bai patiently holding on to lost love. Leave him dear, go back to mummy's place.

Some man - and I ashamed to say - sounding very Catholic had just slapped his wife with the back of his left hand - a very practised shot I would say - for what sounded like a very small demeanour - "I told you not to leave so late ...."

For a moment my blood boiled and I wanted to mouth him some abuse - but, what would I do - could I take her home tonight - No! And, reason kicked in and courage flew out of the window.

How could my Bandra have changed so much ?