If you have to ask you'll never know ! [L.Armstrong]... thats Louis not Lance.

Oct 25, 2007

Russian Roulette !

One stop after Dadar on the fast, and third stop after Dadar on the slow.[ Train i.e.]. [ Bandra i.e.]
The other way around is tricky. You jump off the 211 or 212 or 214 or 221 and head onto platform 1. Obviuosly you have pass being a Bandra Bugger and dont have to stand in queue for a ticket. Then you get onto the overhead bridge and position yourself between the stairs to platforms 2 and 4. There is a slight bend in the tracks as you look northwards towards Khar. The lit up boards indictate that there's a 8.30 slow to Churchgate and an 8.31 fast . Platform 2 for the slow and platform 4 for the fast.
But do the trains know their order of appearance at the platforms ? No.
The next question is ,where's the train coming from ?
Borivli . Not too bad. Andheri . Even better. Virar . very bad. it's going to be packed before it even reaches Malad.
Then you scan your immediate horizon and figure out how many from this bunch of platform runners are going to go for the fast and how many for the slow ? So what affect does that have on your odds of getting down the stairs and into the train before its three millisecond stop at Bandra is over and it starts vanishing towards Mahim.
So there's the whistle and there's the train.
Hell. They're both coming in together.
So pull the mainframe out of your pocket once more and start computing which one is going to leave first. Will 8.30 leave at 8.33 and will 8.31 leave on time ? Big Blue wouldnt be able to answer this one.
Now the crowd thins down as choices are made and unmade. Someone's halfway down the stairs to platform 2 when he changes his mind and backs up to retreat down to platform 4.
And we being really fit and fast of course will wait till the trains starts to move and then try and dash down the stairs of the chosen one . Only to find our way blocked by all the folks who have gotten off and are on their way into Bandra .We finally reach platform 4 which is now trainless and yes thats Platform 2 tooting that they're off too.
Moral of the story?


Differently Challenged said...

ha ha...
Great One, once again..I miss travelling by trains...

madfugger said...

hey, nice one! picture perfect. haha. reminds me of da good ol days (79'ish)& nights. on d 7.34pm to churchgate. against d rush. from bandra of course. via 221. from perry cross park. i'm muzhijun men! would religiously leave d boys with dere smokes & udder pharmaceuticals - having satisfactorily partaken in all ceremonies & sufficiently endowed wit enuf maal to last till 3am - & head out to cuffe. to play wit johnny fernandes men! last train home, one full compartment was musos from all d hotels, restaurants, bars & discos. ya den!! were discos den! shlip dishk en all. many hotels like oberoi had tree tree bands, some two tree. arrey u won't believe. full churchgate jazz by d bay road was full of bands men. and bandsmen. so anyway, last train was full of muzhijuns. in spite of so many who lived in dobitalao. i used to tell some of dem "ken ken chutya bugger, come by train & get down at marine lines. have a quick one men. see, to d left is all d older buggers wit dere booze. to d right is all d smoker boys. have ur fill. against d rush". it rarely worked. but when it did, dey staggered out at bandra. den A1's outside d station(in spite of having earlier had a tree course 5 star a la carte meal)- d filthiest place with d tastiest grub. tongue fry. brain masala. romali roti. den maalish near lucky's (chubs). readymade ones to smoke. stoned, buzzed & massaged. wat a life men. everyday except mondays.

Joe said...

Hi Clement,
Howdy ??!! Just got this link from my cousin in Bandra and it's utterly delightful. I'm now in the Gulf with my family. We just spend a week or two every six months in Bandra, followed by a trip to Poona, and my three kids right now are wondering what on earth am I chuckling so much for while reading all your blogs. Wonderful job!! Awesome memories !! Yup, there's no place like Bandra!!


Dinesh Alexander D'Souza said...

Hey! What a coincidence Joey whoever you are. I, like you, also got this link from my cousin.

And yes, I have also waited on the bridge in in the hope that the fast train would come in before the slow

Anonymous said...

Hi Clem nice place could v have an exculsive place for THE LOVELY LADIES.LOL just kidding t c and God's Bless,Keep the faith !!!rgds Carlos Fernandez

Anonymous said...

Seems like yesterday. Taking two steps at a time - sometimes even three to get the fast train - weaving through the mass of passengers coming up the stairs. No wonder Bandra buggers were good in field hockey.